How Mary teaches me about Jesus

In my first Blog post I explained that seeking understanding and truth became seeking a person- Jesus.

It’s a bit abstract to seek someone who cannot be seen or spoken to like the people we encounter daily. How did my search for understanding and truth become a search for Jesus? The full answer would be too long for one Blog post so I want to focus on one thing.

There have been certain moments in my life when my relationship with God has shifted, and this has always changed my understanding of life and of myself.

I want to mention one of these moments to explain how some of the “popular piety” of the Catholic faith helps me to better understand who Jesus is.

I chose this today because we honour the Mother of Jesus on Saturdays in the Catholic Church, and tomorrow in the English Catholic Church, we are being rededicated to the Virgin Mary as her Dowry; you can read more about that here:

https://www.behold2020.com/the-rededication

On 10^th May 2016 I went to Sunday Mass for the first time, when I was on an exciting adventure to find “The True Church of Jesus Christ”. I started attending regularly and was taking steps to make a more formal commitment to life as a Christian. I was especially aware of my need for Baptism.

My spiritual journey into God was becoming a religious journey- into a Church.

Can you believe that? How lame and Bourgeois, to actually be religious. Is that really necessary? I don’t believe in organised religion, right? Much better just to be spiritual.

The problem for me was the Bible. So, because of the truth I saw in the Bible and the sincerity of my intention, I inevitably had to grow from simply being spiritual to being religious, and so I joined RCIA- that is the Rite to Christian Initiation- which is a programme for people to go through in order to join the Church.

During RCIA the lady who was sponsoring me into the Church, who would technically be my Godmother because I was being baptised, gave me my first Rosary beads. Another lady, whose Daughter-in-law was in RCIA with me, gave me a book she had written with information on how-to-pray the Rosary and some meditations in it.

So, with my Rosary beads and Rosary manual, I started to pray the Rosary during RCIA.

The Rosary is a set of rote prayers said, using prayer beads, while meditating on moments from the life of Jesus Christ.

There is more information on this website-

https://www.rosarycenter.org/homepage-2/rosary/how-to-pray-the-rosary/

I had been practicing mindfulness and transcendental meditation for over a year before I decided to become a Christian so was used to focusing my attention, clearing my mind and sitting in silence comfortably. Which helps when it comes to persevering in anything, but especially in contemplative prayer.

My years of reading and creating did their work, because the Rosary is a prayer which involves visualising events in your imagination, while asking the Virgin Mary to pray with you through recitation of the ‘Hail Mary’.

Although I knew I was following Jesus, I really felt closest to God the Father at that time. I could understand this distant Father figure better than a man who died on a cross. It seemed very weird and violent that Jesus died in this way, strange that he was perfect, and the son of God. I didn’t really understand, I just believed- I believed I should be following Him, and I was trying, but was uncomfortable because I didn’t feel I could approach or know this man Jesus whose name was a swear word and subject of ridicule for most of my life.

Charcoal sketch from a small notepad, done by me before I was a Christian.

When I pray the fifth sorrowful mystery I stand at the foot of the cross in my mind, while I ask His Mother Mary to pray for me. I imagine this man Jesus dying on the cross and believe His Mother prays on my behalf. She goes to the unapproachable Jesus for me when I feel I cannot.

As I prayed during RCIA, I knew that Jesus died on the cross because of His love. I knew He did it personally for me, that He died on the cross because of His love for me. His Mother Mary showed me, through praying the Holy Rosary, that I can come to know the love that God has for me.

These moments of revelation, where we better know God’s love for us (and so for all people) help to make sense of the scriptures and all the teachings of the faith. So much more of the teaching of Jesus makes sense because of my commitment to this set of prayers, because through meditation and the intercession of Mary I know Jesus better, and therefore can comprehend God's love more.

Praying the Rosary every day changes me. I not only experience the love of Jesus Christ through meditating on His life, and calling on His Mother for assistance, but I even become that loving Jesus on the cross, being crucified out of my love for Him and the people He died for.

It is easy to understand that Jesus died out of His love for us when we know He was all powerful, yet in spite of this still chose to go to the cross to die for our sins, but as an unbaptised person raised by an antitheist and an agnostic in an irreligious society that made no sense to me.

God’s love was made more real to me at the foot of the cross, and I know that it was the Virgin Mary who made this revelation possible.

What’s more, it is an ongoing encounter. It can be so hard to return to the foot of the cross. It is painful sometimes to think about Jesus suffering, but it is worth suffering a little bit of discomfort to think about His pain so that He can reveal His love for us at the cross, and heal us of the pain we carry with us, which He only takes away when we turn to Him.

It’s painful too to know that we are responsible for His suffering, but I can’t turn away from the one who loves me, especially knowing that He died like that for love. I must return to the cross to be transformed by His love, and when I am reluctant to go to the cross I ask Mary and she drags me to the foot of the cross, she holds me there, and so she is always revealing her son to me more through my dedication to the Holy Rosary.

I hope that you will all seek to know this Jesus, who died for you and me, through praying the Rosary too and persevering in the prayers.

By asking His Mother to reveal her son and meditating on the Passion of Jesus we know Jesus better and are transformed by His love. Especially during Lent, when we are turning from our sins, which crucify Jesus, and preparing for the joy of Easter.

The selfless love of God could not be made more apparent than it was in the moments when Jesus was hanging on the cross, dying.
Go to Him now to know His love for you. Mary will help you.

Gatti Cadona Sempre in Piedo

Four years ago today I joined the Catholic Church.

Some may think this is a strange or stupid thing to do, but it's the only big life decision I've made which I am certain was the right choice.

I was Baptised, Confirmed and received Holy Communion for the first time at the Easter Vigil at St. Edmund’s Church, Godalming.

https://stedsgod.com/

Above the baptismal font, and my head, where Jesus washed away my sins there is a stained-glass window and in it are the words:

“Igatti cadona sempre in piedo” or “cats always fall on their feet” in Italian.

Which is appropriate, firstly because I was a cradle cataholic- that is a cat lover from birth.

Secondly, and more importantly, it is appropriate because that day I- catty Ciara White- certainly fell on my feet.

Lovely little sketch of some awful old cat

Nine days ago, on St. Patrick’s day, I turned thirty. It’s worth celebrating because Patrick is a great Saint, but I feel in myself that I have more reason to celebrate this day than my thirtieth birthday.

The anniversary of my Baptism, Confirmation and first Holy Communion is more important to me than my birthday because my birthday only commemorates my coming into this world materially. 

The anniversary today signifies my rebirth- the day I was reborn spiritually IN God, the day I entered eternal life.

This was made possible by the ministry of the Catholic Church, and the Sacraments the Church offers for the salvation of all who realise that Jesus Christ is the incarnation of God, and that because of this fact we must follow Him in order to be saved from sin and death.

I am so grateful to God that he revealed the truth about His existence to me, so that my search for understanding and truth became seeking a person- Jesus. When I knew it was Jesus I was following I had to find the Church he started- and I am relieved that I was allowed to enter!

Even an awful old cat, like me.

In a sense my second "birthday" is the remedy to the first - on 17^th March 1990 I entered a broken world, and on 26^th March 2016 I was delivered from it.

The day I received three sacraments in one ceremony was the greatest day of my life- nothing will ever compare.

I am so happy to have joined the Catholic Church and to have the privilege of continuing to live a Sacramental life.

If you are interested in hearing more about why, of all the religions in the world, I decided to join the awful Catholics, please check back later because I plan on sharing a few more things about my journey into God and my continuing journey through Him and with Him and in Him.

Through sharing some of my experiences and reflections I hope that others will come to see that the pursuit of a Holy life and the certainty of truth is far more freeing than living a life of self-interest and believing things which are not true.

As this is the first post please forgive the decorative poverty, I’m just finding some feet to fall on and wanted to share my happiness with everybody TODAY.

A side project which I hope to include on this Blog is related to this so I'm mentioning it briefly and will do a separate post with more info on it.
The project-

I am about to start a design for a baptismal tattoo to cover a tattoo (of three cats) I got when I was not all there.
It will be a stain on my body forever but a baptismal cattoo can't be that bad.
Maybe the words "Gatti cadona sempre in Piedo" should be in the design. I think they should.
From one Font to another- any thoughts on cattoo lettering designs are welcome.

I hope that God will bless you as He has blessed me and that you enjoy reading.